The Rules
Any women reading this, must surely be aware of The Rules. It's basically a book written by two american women which explains rules in order to get someone not hideous to marry you. It's a book of the 'treat them mean, keep 'em keen' mentally. And although some of the rules are absolutely crazy ('Don't Call Him And Rarely Return His Calls'- how EXACTLY is this guy meant to realise you like him?!), some of them are actually really good. My favourites are 'Always End Phone Calls and Dates First (rule no. 5) and Break Up With Him If He Doesnt Buy You a Romantic Gift For Your Birthday or Valentines Day. (rule no. 12)
But obviously, rules are made to be broken! You can't always live your life by rules, mistakes are the things that made life exciting, and living like some nun with an agenda is not what women should be aiming for!
So these are some suggestions for rules, actually not even rules, just things to make life easier.
1. Before Any More Intimate Relations With A Guy, Make The Terms Known.
This may sound ricidulous, but if you say 'this is just a one time thingy. i like being single.' it is easier, than trying to give a guy you hardly know the brush off without hurting his feelings. If its obvious what the terms are, then no explanations should be needed.
2. If Any Situation Is Either (Or Both) Mildly Embarassing And Only Mildly Pleasurable, Close Your Eyes.
This way, you don't have to experience it as much. Works for most situations, from the dentist, to the spa, to the bedroom. HA, though if that's your day i don't know whether i envy or pity you!
3. If In Doubt, Say It With A Smile, and Cock Your Head to one side.
I think most awkard revelations can be sanitized in this way. This'll probably make anything you have to say seem a bit naughty but okay really. If it's majorly offensive, also add a kiss. Though not, obviously in a work setting. Then again, i guess it depends where you work...
4. Never Get Out Of Bed To Go Meet A Man.
Its a grey area if you were just going to bed. err on the side of, Am i not even worth booking in advance?!
5. Don't Just Stop Calling.
Be polite! If you don't like them, don't care what they think! Closure. Most important in regard to Guys stopping calling girls one day, and never hearing from them again. which leads me onto...
6. If They Disappear, Just Pretend They Died Doing Something That Was Their Fault.
Like...Driving without a seatbelt while talking on their mobile. Makes everything easier.
In other news, I saw Sweeney Todd the other day! OMG Sacha Baron Cohen! Who's mental idea was that?!
At the end of the film i heard a middle aged glaswegian couple go out of the cinema saying to each other 'I think i've seen enough slitting of throats today' As if they HAD planned to do some themselves later on!
I just thought what beautiful skin Johnny Depp has, even though i'm not normally a fan...
OOH i also saw the film Broken English, it's really good, made me cry twice. Which is an achievement as i NEVER cry at films. The only other film i've cried to was Now, Voyager. I love Bette Davis, she's such a good actress. so good. And even though she wasn't exactly beautiful, she had something indefinable about her...I'm starting to wish i had longer hair so i could do those cool 40's updos.
Today's Song Is...
Touch Too Much by Hot Chip
In my humble opinion, one of the better tracks off Made In The Dark. Weirdly good for doing yoga to, also. And for dancing around to in Somerfield. And indeed on the dancefloor.
