Ten (ish) Celebrities I'd Most Like To Jump...

In order. ish.

1. Alex Kapranos

No, he's not like HOT AS type attractive, but you blates would. He is as sexy as hell, the accent, oh yes.

He's the type of guy, if you brought him home, your mum would start flirting with him.

Good clothes too. He'd be one of those people if you bought him a drink he'd be your best friend. He's probs got a Zone Card he'd lend you and all.


2. Mark Ronson
Technically, i should want to slap him. he did corrupt Amy Winehouse and ruin that Smiths song. And he has that silly 'transatlantic' accent.

He does look very hot in a shirt and tie though and he has nice hair too.

If you took Ronson home, i think he'd be the one flirting with your mum/sister/your whole family. He'd probably try to bum your dad, is basically what i'm saying.


I don't know this for sure, but it's an educated guess.



3. Mathieu Kassovitz

I think most people are in love with him, just cos he played Nino in Amélie and it's impossible to not love that film.

You've also got to love him because he's also a Director/Scriptwriter/whatever, and he made the fantastic film La Haine. With the amazing Vincent Cassel in. Which, actually, is a bit like Crash, but y'know french. so slightly better and with more naughty words.

He's been in other stuff as well, Munich, Gothika etc.. but i ent seen these right. Was he in an Ocean's film? or was that Cassel? One of the two anyhoo.

4. Maggie Gyllenhaal

I love love LOVED Secretary, even though it was indie porn basically. She's just off beat and interesting isnt she? Those eyes too, how pretty. I would love to look like Maggie. So much better than these cookie cutter size 0 idiots.

She chooses really interesting roles, she's one of those actors you want to see what films they do, cos they're nearly always worth a look. She seems like a good girl too, you could go out and have a laugh with her, i reckon.

5. Patrick Wolf
Dirty, wild, but charming with it, he's sexy as fuck really, isn't he?


He'd blink prettily and you'd just succumb basically.

Good clothes.

I actually have nothing else to say on this matter.
6. Agyness Deyn

Everyone loves Aggy. She would be easy to hate but you just can't. And I hate a lot of people.

Amazing hair. Not scarily, intimidating beauty. Amazing skin too, my lord.

She'd be a right laugh if you took her out too, she seems like the kind who could do shots all night then run home through the park in the sunshine!

Nick her clothes too! or at least the baggier ones, cos she's skinny thing isn't she?


7. Dylan Moran

Dylan Moran is just so cute. He's like a little boy really. A little drunk, irish boy.

I don't think you would have a good night out with him, but i think if you had dinner with him he'd be best. get him slowly drunk. he'd be funnier.

I sound like a date rapist.

Quite creepy. I'm not really going to take Dylan Moran out, drug him and then molest him.

Although...


8. Samuel Le Bihan

Specifically, In Venus Beauté Institut. His ARMS. Seriously. YUM. Plus he's got the whole sexy masculine but still sensitive with a french accent thing going on.

Haven't actually seen him in anything else and i know nothing about him, apart from what i did read on Wiki that apparently he's just a french actor, doing TV and Film over there.

Ooh i should say the lovely Audrey Tatou is also in Venus Beauté Insitut, and she looks surprisingly booby, it shocked me how good a figure she has in the film!

9. Joaquin Phoenix

I get the impression Joaquin would be really intense and kind of wrong, but oh so right.

He'd introduce you to new and sublime things.

And cos apparently he's vegetarian, so no awkward explanation of how you don't want any kebab thanks. And no look of disbelief and disgust, like you just told them that you have HIV or you're in a cult.

Plus in that film what was about Johnny Cash whats name i've forgot, he did a good singing voice didn't he?

Some entertainment as well.



10. Alex Wotherspoon

He's the one from Bolton on The Apprentice.

Nice northern accent. I'm a sucker for a nice northern accent.

Again, i don't feel the need to go on muchos cos he's beautiful really isn't he?

And one more.... Bat For Lashes Natasha Khan

Love the music.

But love her make up and clothes more.

I want to be her best friend so she'd lend me stuff.

Although to be fair, i wouldnt suit it at all and she looks amazing. It's nice to see someone who looks a bit different, not just skinny/faketanned/peroxide/Girls Aloud clone. Like Bjork too actually.

She is stunning really.


Today's Song is...
Fabulously Lazy by Franz Ferdinand
This was on the Do You Want To EP, and it's amazing. I love it. I remember the good old days of going out and buying the single on CD cos you couldn't just download it. And when B sides were actually good, like Franz ones and The Rakes, they had amazing B sides.

Two Double Vodkas and ooh, a Penis, please.

I've been doing a lot of reading about feminism at the moment. I'm studying Heroic Women,as part of my Comparative Literature course, so it has some academic relevence as well.

Relevence. There's a lot of talk about women's rights. To choose. To vote. To wear the hijab. People think that women have come a long way, that we're now equal to, if not superior to men, but in reality we're not treated as equals.

I'm sure this scene is familiar to most girls and indeed most guys. A busy bar. Girl stands at the bar, hoping to catch the barstaff's eye. Her chest catches his eye. Around her more people join the waiting, mostly men. She waits. And waits. The men get served. Eventually she gets served, but only after a man takes pity on her and allows her to go before him.

This is sexism alive and well, going unnoticed in millions of bars and clubs! It's continually happening to me, apparently you need a dick just to get a drink in places. It's fucking ridiculous.

Women are punished for their looks. An 'ugly' women is dismissed as a 'dog' whereas a 'pretty' woman is regarded as a 'slut'. If a girl doesn't make an effort with her appearance she's a nerd, or seen as emasculated, but if she does, she's shallow and stupid. a whore.

People don't realise how isolating beauty is. yes, it marks you out, it also scars you.


Sexism is still present. I don't see myself as particularly active at all *coughs* in fact i've only had two guys to stay over in my flat since september. despite this, whenever a man calls for me, i immediately get judging looks from my flatmates (who are both male and female).

Men are really annoying me at the moment. It's probably just the men i meet, but they all merely seem interested in me as a sexual object. And when they aren't they're either not that interested or it's too much. I think the realisation that i was in love for the first time and it was unrequited, made me this bitter about men. Then i remembered that Margaret Atwood short story, the women telling of her first, also unrequited, love. Hair Jewellery from Dancing Girls. I honestly think if i had to go my whole life reading only one writer, it'd be Margaret Atwood. I adore it. Banality is the enemy of unrequited love. Thank fuck i have that.

But i managed to get over said unrequited love with the help of a very good looking Mark Ronson lookalike. He had a Middlesbrough accent and beautifully penetrating green eyes. honestly, noone has ever looked at me the way he did, you know when someone looks at you so intently it's like they can see past your body, past your thoughts even, but deep down into your soul. it was so unsettling. he was yummy alright. mmm.


Today's Song is...
Obsticle 1 by Interpol
I love interpol. they are sublime. also reminds me about said former object of affection. 'i wish i could eat the salt off of your lost faded lips'. i love that line. boohoo.
They are playing Latitude festival this year, which i am dying to go to, but i cant find anyone to go with me, and i need to get a job over the summer, really.