Les Nuits Blanches

It's a strange thing that the City of Light is arguably more alive at night than during the day.

The other evening, the french ex petit ami failing to turn up chez moi, I met up with some other girls for a drink. Of course a cocktail turned into Tequila slammers, then a bottle of wine between two and at 2am me and the other last anglophone standing had just enough of unfriendly Parisiens, Berliners and rather too friendly Marocains and Bresilien jews, and wanted food (her) somewhere to sit down (me) and rich men (both of us).

If I say a New York Banker, the most amazing goat's cheese salad and two bottles of Moet et Chandon were involved, I'll let your imagination decide on the ending.

I've decided students are not the way forward. Too pretentious/inexperienced/awkward/immature for words. So we are going on a search and survey of rich men in Paris. Next stop Champs Elysees.

I just can't go back to the Bastille/L'an Vert du Decor in a while- the waitress gave some very judging looks to us- Perhaps going in having one Cosmopolitan, leaving and coming back 4 hours later with a rich american who is old enough to be your father is the only way to raise the eyebrows of a parisienne serveuse. Especially when he asks his 'little british Harry Potter' to taste the champagne when the serveuse gives it to him to try!

Today's Song is...

Hercules and Love Affair- Blind

I can't stop listening to this, how come I've never heard this in a club or bar?!

Two Double Vodkas and ooh, a Penis, please.

I've been doing a lot of reading about feminism at the moment. I'm studying Heroic Women,as part of my Comparative Literature course, so it has some academic relevence as well.

Relevence. There's a lot of talk about women's rights. To choose. To vote. To wear the hijab. People think that women have come a long way, that we're now equal to, if not superior to men, but in reality we're not treated as equals.

I'm sure this scene is familiar to most girls and indeed most guys. A busy bar. Girl stands at the bar, hoping to catch the barstaff's eye. Her chest catches his eye. Around her more people join the waiting, mostly men. She waits. And waits. The men get served. Eventually she gets served, but only after a man takes pity on her and allows her to go before him.

This is sexism alive and well, going unnoticed in millions of bars and clubs! It's continually happening to me, apparently you need a dick just to get a drink in places. It's fucking ridiculous.

Women are punished for their looks. An 'ugly' women is dismissed as a 'dog' whereas a 'pretty' woman is regarded as a 'slut'. If a girl doesn't make an effort with her appearance she's a nerd, or seen as emasculated, but if she does, she's shallow and stupid. a whore.

People don't realise how isolating beauty is. yes, it marks you out, it also scars you.


Sexism is still present. I don't see myself as particularly active at all *coughs* in fact i've only had two guys to stay over in my flat since september. despite this, whenever a man calls for me, i immediately get judging looks from my flatmates (who are both male and female).

Men are really annoying me at the moment. It's probably just the men i meet, but they all merely seem interested in me as a sexual object. And when they aren't they're either not that interested or it's too much. I think the realisation that i was in love for the first time and it was unrequited, made me this bitter about men. Then i remembered that Margaret Atwood short story, the women telling of her first, also unrequited, love. Hair Jewellery from Dancing Girls. I honestly think if i had to go my whole life reading only one writer, it'd be Margaret Atwood. I adore it. Banality is the enemy of unrequited love. Thank fuck i have that.

But i managed to get over said unrequited love with the help of a very good looking Mark Ronson lookalike. He had a Middlesbrough accent and beautifully penetrating green eyes. honestly, noone has ever looked at me the way he did, you know when someone looks at you so intently it's like they can see past your body, past your thoughts even, but deep down into your soul. it was so unsettling. he was yummy alright. mmm.


Today's Song is...
Obsticle 1 by Interpol
I love interpol. they are sublime. also reminds me about said former object of affection. 'i wish i could eat the salt off of your lost faded lips'. i love that line. boohoo.
They are playing Latitude festival this year, which i am dying to go to, but i cant find anyone to go with me, and i need to get a job over the summer, really.

A Change is as good as a rest.

So yeh. I got into Glasgow. Am here. An english girl in Scotland.

its okay tho, cos apparently they dont hate my southern posh ish accent, they actually like it. i dont really get it myself, its like americans liking 'british' accent. (whatever the fuck that means)

the scottish accent is the best. it is so fit. even if people are really not that good looking. they have accents that are just devine...i met this guy from Ayr and my god. i was trying to get him to talk, not even looking at him, i went away when it came to that point when something physical had to happen, which is pretty mean, but i just wanted to listen to him, seriously.

having said that people have suggested that i am an alcoholic...but i'm just not a lightweight, thus i have to drink more. So morally i win, as far as i'm concerned.

really have to stop quoting Dylan Moran, its getting ridiculous.

ANYWAY

Today's Song is...
Nothing But Green Lights by Tom Vek
For that complete and utter freedom you get from spending time alone.